#1 The Pretender (1996 - 2001)

Peer into the face of lovable madness!

This show aired for four seasons starting in '96 and spawned two TV movies. It even had two crossovers with Profiler but sadly both shows were murdered by Vince MacMahon's atrocious XFL (well the Profiler certainly was -although I didn't think it was that great at the time or on re-watching). The premise (initially at least) is that an evil corporation known as the Centre has raised a young genius named Jarod (played by Michael T. Weiss as an adult) to be a Pretender.

A Pretender is someone that can do or be anyone or anything simply by studying it. Apparently there was a French guy back when that could learn any skill he read about and the show is loosely based on that.

Most episodes bounce between events at the Centre and whatever caper Jarod is currently involved in. The A and B stories are tied together with black and white footage from Jarod's childhood at the Centre ostensibly recorded on DSA discs (burnable DVDs were IIRC still super rare/expensive in '96 and most of Jarod's childhood was well, decades before then).

So Jarod lives in the Centre until he's like 30, never goes outside, never interacts with the outside world. He finds out that the 'simulations' he's been running for the Centre have been corrupted and used to hurt and kill people rather than help as he'd intended, he then breaks out and goes on the run to find out who he is. As a child he was told that his parents died in an airline crash, which is a total lie. Most of this is revealed throughout season one via the black and white DSA footage and events at the Centre and between himself and his pursuers. 

One of my fav bits, J discovers Curious George

Weiss manages to make Jarod, a character that by rights, should be incredibly creepy lovable and endearing. I mean, this is a dude so sheltered from our world that he literally doesn't see anything wrong with a strange adult man buying an ice cream cone and trying to lure a young wheel chair bound boy into a conversation with said cone. Even after the kid tells him off for being weird. Seriously. And he does crap like that all the damn time. It just never occurs to him that it might be inappropriate or at all weird. (Then again this is the same episode where, according to the commentary, the creators had originally wanted a nurse that assists Jarod in nailing the bad guys to be a secret post op transgendered woman that was being black mailed by the baddies. Really guys?) But then he also does things like discover the joys of fake dog pooh and silly putty, or put a whirligig hummingbird on the handlebars of a bicycle he rides everywhere for an episode. He's also obsessed with Pez, it's a pretty regular gag item throughout the four seasons.

So he goes out into the great wide world and proceeds to tease the Centre at every opportunity and wreak good deeds upon the innocent and helpless while boning the weekly Evil Entity (say family abusing father, oil corporation, so on). But here's the thing, Jarod?- not quite sane. Usually his deeds culminate in the gleeful and usually sadistic comeuppance of the Evil Entity of the episode and he seriously gets off on it. Like needs therapy gets off on it. But again, somehow, Weiss manages to make that okay 'cause it's just that wacky Pretender being all awesome and stickin' it to the evil man!

I don't mean to say he's like a hamster with a box full of beheaded mice under his bed. He has a full range of emotions he's just, well, fucked up and weirdly unaware of how jacked up he is. His holy grail is his MIA family and families in general. Mess with a family and he'll be down on you so fast he'll make gravity jealous.
 

The three musketeers...of corporate evil.

The other usual characters are Sydney (Patrick Bauchau) the shrink and pseudo father figure that worked closest with Jarod (bizarre relationship doesn't even begin to describe what they have). Sydney is in turns filled with pride over Jarod's accomplishments, fascinated by him as a subject, and wracked with guilt over his part in Jarod's imprisonment and exploitation.


Miss Parker (Andrea Parker) the original Ice Queen, one time childhood friend now corporate hatchet (literally at times) she's sent after him along with Sydney.

Broots (Jon Gries) the hapless tech teamed up with Parker and Sydney to chase down their lost pet. Some people may recognize Broots as 'Uncle Rico' from Napoleon Dynamite - he's got more hair in NP.
The charm of the show is that outside of one or two characters none of the main or regular characters are truly evil and none are truly pure. As awesome and fun as Jarod is he's still a pretty jacked up and dangerous guy. As the seasons progress he gets even darker.  Even Parker has more than one dimension and is, in some ways, more human than Jarod.

Most of the writing stands up pretty well although there are loads of holes surrounding his Pretends but a wibbly wave of the magical hand of suspended disbelief clears most of them up nicely. Although at one point he is nearly exposed and caught by a Naval Intelligence officer which is refreshing.  It's a fun escapist show that occasionally dips its toes into some thicker material  like ethics, etc. It's a nice balance and one of my go-to veg favs. I'll throw a disc in and clean the house etc and always be satisfied by whatever sadistic set up 'ol Jarod inflicts on the current Evil Entity.

The Centre home of all evil, IRL it's a water treatment facility

By the middle of the second season the focus shifts more from Jarod and his wacky exploits to Jarod and the Centre and the incredibly messed up shit the Centre is involved in and has done to Jarod and his family. The arc eventually leads to a bit of a cliffhanger/dead end at the end of the last movie where Jarod is revealed or at least strongly hinted to be more than 'just' a genius Pretender (because, clearly, that just wasn't enough) and closes with Parker and another character pitted against one another to finally capture the slippery Jarod or face execution for failure. (I've left out oooh 90% of the shit that goes down to avoid spoilers, the show may be 10+ years old at this point but that doesn't give me douchewaffle license to spoil, in case you were wondering :D)

Yes. That is where it ends. Which leads me to this:

Dear Producers, Creators, Writers, PTB for the Pretender:


IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS, THROW US A DAMN BONE ALREADY, EITHER JUST LOG ON TO WIKIPEDIA AND TELL US WTF YOUR 'GRAND PLAN' WAS OR RELEASE A COMIC BOOK OR SOMETHING. SHEESH.


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P.S. Guys, I love your show and I publish comics, let's chat shall we?

Note: Any Michael T. Weiss fans out there absolutely must check out the movie Jeffrey (1995). It stars Steven Webber as Jeffrey a young gay man that swears off sex since everyone is paranoid about AIDs and all the fun has gone out of it. He then meets Steve Howard (Weiss) the man of his dreams and has to decide if love is worth the risk. The first ten minutes are in the clip shown here. Patrick Stewart co-stars in a brilliant performance.

Availability:


Hulu - Yes but some episodes from Seasons 2-4 are MIA due to music licensing issues including a few key ones and the TV movies are NOT available. 


Netflix - Yes, disc only


Amazon - Yes, clickable pics below