Fitness or 6 Ways to Stick it to Modern Body Image 'Ideals'

Note: After a week of fun fluffy posts I thought I'd do one on a more serious and personal note. While it's admirable that our society 'seems' to be focusing more on health than 'beauty' there's a perfect storm of suck being created by making atypical body type people feel guilty and shameful for their image as though they've broken some moral code, combined with our impossible physical ideals perpetuated by media. This creates a system of thinking that is astonishingly destructive and in some cases fatal. I for one am tired of watching our youth and each other tear themselves apart because its easier for us to declare each other immoral, lazy, ugly people than admit that we're passing the buck and blaming each other for a system we're all participating in. 

Fitness is defined as:

–noun

1. health.

2. capability of the body of distributing inhaled oxygen to muscle tissue during increased physical effort.

3.Also called Darwinian fitness. Biology .

a.the genetic contribution of an individual to the next generation's gene pool relative to the average for the population, usually measured by the number of offspring or close kin that survive to reproductive age.

b.the ability of a population to maintain or increase its numbers in succeeding generations.

We, as a society, are obsessed with impossible body ideals. We buy products advertised by bony waifs (male and female) that are further photo shopped to enhance their impossible 'beautiful' figures. We obsess over perfect skin, perfect figures, perfect hair, perfect blah blah blah.

Here's the deal, perfect? Doesn't exist. Period. Perfection is an impossible ideal. Ignoring the inherent problems with attempting to define universal attributes of beauty (you can shove your golden mean up your ass) perfection doesn't exist in the natural world. Symmetry and other descriptors that we assume = perfection might but perfection doesn't, it never will. Entropy and the nature of existence defy it. So why the hell are we so obsessed with achieving artificial standards that will literally kill us?

We're bombarded with advertising and the like that demands we seek these ideals or face an unfulfilled, empty, failure of a life alone with no lifemate/friend/companion/partner/spouse because we have failed. It's also important to note that while this seems to be an issue most frequently addressed as impacting women negatively the false ideals and standards set up for men are just as damaging. We're all running around trying to be impossible. It's killing us and poisoning our youth.

This will never be me short of surgery or a fortune in time & money. Guess what? I don't give a damn.

So what's the point of this? Why am I re-stating an issue that most of us should have, at the very least, a passing familiarity with? Because I want to offer my own perspective and definition of fitness. It's an alternative to the agonizing, self loathing inducing, hateful, futile cycle we're all stuck on. And, I admit I still struggle with these fake ideals myself. Every time I see a commercial where some food, beauty, personal, or other product is equated with personal fulfillment or being a 'true' woman I go through this:

1. Oh jeez that's so stupid and not true

2. Huh I wonder if that product is actually useful?

3. Maybe it will be the magic wand that will make me smart/beautiful/sexy/thin/good enough

4. I hate advertising, this is bullshit.

5. *continues to vaguely wonder*

Partly to avoid this I don't watch broadcast TV much (it's also because I keep weirdo hours and can usually catch shows online or via netflix etc), I try to avoid media that caters to that kind of thinking like 'women's' magazines, etc. Although I do get a complimentary subscription to 'Fitness' magazine thanks to my gym membership I rarely read it as it tends to be chock full of the exact kind of advertisements I'm trying to avoid. I also get Whole Living and Yoga both of which veer toward expensive specialty food and product advertising more than yay eating disorder thin women! But, again, I try not to focus on the impossible ideals put forward by many advertisers. Still, when I do think of them I go through the above process largely because I've spent twenty-some years going through it. In spite of strong independent healthy women in my life who scoffed at such ideals as I was growing up and encouraged me to be me, the hooks and claws of impossible ideals still found their mark.

It is impossible to avoid these false standards and the self-loathing cycle that goes with them altogether, thus while working to break the cycle of thinking I outlined above, I've also decided to redefine fitness for myself. I am ignoring the pop culture definitions of it and focusing on the dictionary. 

Image is secondary to health. I go to the gym because I feel better mentally and physically when I do. I like the feeling of satisfaction I get when I add a half mile to my cardio and don't feel like a gasping beached fish a the end. I like the satisfaction of adding weight to a rep, or squeezing out one more rep. I like how my body feels and reacts to increased activity, increased stamina, energy, better sleep, and knowing that I can keep going and achieving more.  

So back to fitness in the Darwinian sense. If I am physically healthy because I want to be and feel better that way then all the joyful aspects of that will filter into my being a more successful person. The ripple effect of which will in turn (ideally) improve the rest of my life and that of those around me, even if only in minute ways. 

In the end, there is no magic pill, makeup, clothing, or other product to make me a perfect me. There's just me living my life the best I can. To that end, these are my 'fitness' rules:

1. Ignore the scale.

I weigh myself once a month if that. And that's more out of curiosity than any kind of goal progress check. I refuse to set a 'goal' based on weight. My goal is to feel stronger and increase my stamina. Period.

2. Always incorporate weights into your routine.

 

One of the major misconceptions about women's fitness is that we'll hurt ourselves or become valkyries if we lift weights. That's utterly false, women are no more prone to injury than men. Use weights, ask a trainer or more experienced person to teach you, start with low weights until you're confident then add weight, use a spotter if you're going to push your limits. But LIFT WEIGHTS. You'll gain strength and toning that can prevent injury and get through your day with more energy, not to mention that lifting weights has been proven to prevent or limit osteoporosis. As far as turning into a valkyrie that's super unlikely, due to how we're built it takes a lot of deliberate work to earn that physique and if you notice you're bulking too much in a specific area you can easily modify your routine or ask for advice. Finally weights are fun. Unlike cardio workouts weight lifting is one of the areas where you can see definite progress not linked to a scale or the mirror. You'll get a major rush when you add another 2 or 5 lbs or do that extra rep that can't be beaten.

3. Ignore self deprecating/insulting language.

If you have a friend that always turns conversations into 'I'm so fat' etc CALL THEM ON IT. Self affirmations are powerful and someone constantly telling themselves that they're fat or using negative self descriptors is seriously hurting themselves. Gently point it out, explain that it's only hurting your friend and you, and if they continue to do it in future shut them down firmly. It's not good for them and it's not good for you. If they're fishing for compliments then compliment them on something that doesn't relate to their weight but rather an achievement or some other non-image aspect.

4. Stop purchasing and consuming media that makes you feel bad.

Stop getting issues of MS, Vanity Fair, US, etc that spend more time babbling about celebrities and amazing breakthroughs in makeup etc than teaching you how to be a fulfilled and positive person . A lot of it is PR, advertising and out right lies none of which you need. Start recording shows and skipping advertisements or just go to netflix or other online resources for your programming. Think of the money you can save on $8 magazines that tell you that you're not happy because you weigh more than a stick. If you want information on product reviews etc then seek out blogs or independent reviews. Most media sources have an agenda and a goal i.e. get you to buy their advertiser's products and keep seeking them out for your information needs. Support the outlets and sources that don't treat you like mindless meat. 

5. Use your common sense and fact check claims.

There is no magic pill, food, diet, herb, tea, colon cleanse, spiritual experience, fruit juice, rare plant, mantra etc that will turn you into a supermodel overnight. Nothing can turn %99.99999 of us into supermodels, ever. Instead, go online and research recommendations for diet and exercise. Ask your doctor or log onto WebMD or similar sites and make sure you aren't being fed a line of B.S. that could endanger your health.

6. Love yourself.

Nothing and no one can love or respect you unless you do so first. If you struggle with self esteem, depression, happiness, or satisfaction ask for help. See your physician or if you lack funds do a search for a free clinic in your area. There are even organizations that provide grants for low income men and women to receive health care including mental health care. You may be struggling with these feelings due to a physiological cause (I've struggled with depression etc linked to hypothyroidism for one), or maybe you've endured some terrible experiences in your life and are ready to address them with the help of a competent professional counselor, or maybe you just need an unbiased attentive person to listen to you and not brush your concerns or feelings aside. 

There is no shame in asking for someone to help you find the light again. This doesn't make you weak, shallow, desperate, or shameful, it makes you wise and strong. We cannot get through this world alone and reaching out to another person is the bravest thing some of us will ever do. Realize you're a valuable person and don't rely on the outside world to tell you that. Odds are it's as mind fucked as the rest of us and too busy worrying about itself to provide that service.  If you want to improve your health via diet and exercise make sure you're doing it because you want to and not because a magazine or a friend tells you it will make you happy. It might, but if you're doing it expecting it to be a magic wand to sort out your life or make you happy with yourself, you will not succeed. 

Good luck and happy living! As always thanks for reading and feel free to comment below.

Note: These are three great sites recommended to me:

1. Beginner's Health and Fitness Guide don't let the lack of images and basic layout fool you. This is an excellent starting point for anyone interested in furthering their fitness goals or starting from scratch at any age.
2. Snake Oil? Recommended by the above  site this is a great source for sanity checking supplement and vitamin claims.
3. Stumptuous.com Again recommended by the first site this is a great site focusing on realistic female fitness and weight lifting.