I'll Pray for You

A loaded term if ever there was one. I've found it used predominantly by Christians, usually unsolicited by the person addressed, and about half the time it's a condescending judgmental conversations stopper, the other half it's meant sincerely and kindly. For the latter I've graciously accepted the statement as a gesture of compassion and sympathy. The former?

FUCK. YOU.


That said, what would the average Christian do if a Wiccan, Druid, Eclectic Witch, Kemetic or other pagan said, I'll pray for you?

Now, to be fair, I would be flabbergasted if the average pagan actually did that, by and large most pagan religions, creeds, etc are strongly against any kind of proselytizing and tend to be almost overly sensitive about interacting with another's faith/path without being specifically requested to do so (say via prayer, spells, even energy work). It's a touchy subject. So this question is massively theoretical. All of that said, how would a Christian perceive a Pagan turning that phrase back on them?

Would that be seen as a demonic assault? At the very least I imagine that it would be unwelcomed and possibly perceived as a hostile act. Well how the hell do you think the non-Christian hearing it feels? Even if it's a reactionary statement to a bad situation uttered by a lifelong Christian truly meant with love?

I'm genuinely curious. There are douchebags from all walks of life, every religion, every creed, every philosophy. The danger, I think, lies in the inability or unwillingness (out of fear, judgement, spite whatever) to realize that the people we are addressing have their own framework they're working from and may not be aware of or care about ours and can take something perfectly acceptable in our framework as a massive insult. Obviously that isn't limited to just religion etc. It can apply to nearly any interaction but it seems to set off more problems when religion and such becomes involved than otherwise.

I think part of the problem is that, at best, the term is a platitude. When I started working at Powers Funeral Home the site manager did some one on one training and one of the things she told me (which I'd already learned going through my mother's death) was to never ever use platitudes when offering condolences. It's insulting, aggravating, and offensive. Things like, 'they're better off now', or 'at least they're not in pain', or 'this is what they would've preferred'. Why? Because it's making assumptions about the wishes and fate of the dead, things that are often impossible to know, and it's mitigating and minimizing the pain of the mourners.

"I'll Pray for You" also makes assumptions. The phrase assumes that the user and recipient share the same faith, worldview, operational framework, etc. It also mitigates, marginalizes, and insults the possibility of a different still valid faith, worldview, operational framework etc.It strongly implies a dismissal of the other persons' values and therefore their inherent value and equality. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, feel free to argue or correct if you think I am but that's my perception.

/rant and ramble.

So what do you think, are you offended or annoyed when someone says that to you? Does it come up often if ever? Do you think it's acceptable in some situations but not others? How has that phrase been used around you? As a bludgeon or a bandaid?

Note: I thought I'd add in here that anyone that gives a crap is welcome to visit my other blog  to follow along with my flaillings and musings as I work through Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship's (ADF) Dedicant Path program, I'll also be touching lightly and briefly on the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids initiatory stuff as well but in broader non-specific terms as most of that is meant to be private, it's a mystery initiatory tradition, similar in that respect to the Masons. So what OBOD material filters in will be in the form of more broad comparative strokes than specifics.