#1 The Pretender (1996 - 2001)

Peer into the face of lovable madness!

This show aired for four seasons starting in '96 and spawned two TV movies. It even had two crossovers with Profiler but sadly both shows were murdered by Vince MacMahon's atrocious XFL (well the Profiler certainly was -although I didn't think it was that great at the time or on re-watching). The premise (initially at least) is that an evil corporation known as the Centre has raised a young genius named Jarod (played by Michael T. Weiss as an adult) to be a Pretender.

A Pretender is someone that can do or be anyone or anything simply by studying it. Apparently there was a French guy back when that could learn any skill he read about and the show is loosely based on that.

Most episodes bounce between events at the Centre and whatever caper Jarod is currently involved in. The A and B stories are tied together with black and white footage from Jarod's childhood at the Centre ostensibly recorded on DSA discs (burnable DVDs were IIRC still super rare/expensive in '96 and most of Jarod's childhood was well, decades before then).

So Jarod lives in the Centre until he's like 30, never goes outside, never interacts with the outside world. He finds out that the 'simulations' he's been running for the Centre have been corrupted and used to hurt and kill people rather than help as he'd intended, he then breaks out and goes on the run to find out who he is. As a child he was told that his parents died in an airline crash, which is a total lie. Most of this is revealed throughout season one via the black and white DSA footage and events at the Centre and between himself and his pursuers. 

One of my fav bits, J discovers Curious George

Weiss manages to make Jarod, a character that by rights, should be incredibly creepy lovable and endearing. I mean, this is a dude so sheltered from our world that he literally doesn't see anything wrong with a strange adult man buying an ice cream cone and trying to lure a young wheel chair bound boy into a conversation with said cone. Even after the kid tells him off for being weird. Seriously. And he does crap like that all the damn time. It just never occurs to him that it might be inappropriate or at all weird. (Then again this is the same episode where, according to the commentary, the creators had originally wanted a nurse that assists Jarod in nailing the bad guys to be a secret post op transgendered woman that was being black mailed by the baddies. Really guys?) But then he also does things like discover the joys of fake dog pooh and silly putty, or put a whirligig hummingbird on the handlebars of a bicycle he rides everywhere for an episode. He's also obsessed with Pez, it's a pretty regular gag item throughout the four seasons.

So he goes out into the great wide world and proceeds to tease the Centre at every opportunity and wreak good deeds upon the innocent and helpless while boning the weekly Evil Entity (say family abusing father, oil corporation, so on). But here's the thing, Jarod?- not quite sane. Usually his deeds culminate in the gleeful and usually sadistic comeuppance of the Evil Entity of the episode and he seriously gets off on it. Like needs therapy gets off on it. But again, somehow, Weiss manages to make that okay 'cause it's just that wacky Pretender being all awesome and stickin' it to the evil man!

I don't mean to say he's like a hamster with a box full of beheaded mice under his bed. He has a full range of emotions he's just, well, fucked up and weirdly unaware of how jacked up he is. His holy grail is his MIA family and families in general. Mess with a family and he'll be down on you so fast he'll make gravity jealous.
 

The three musketeers...of corporate evil.

The other usual characters are Sydney (Patrick Bauchau) the shrink and pseudo father figure that worked closest with Jarod (bizarre relationship doesn't even begin to describe what they have). Sydney is in turns filled with pride over Jarod's accomplishments, fascinated by him as a subject, and wracked with guilt over his part in Jarod's imprisonment and exploitation.


Miss Parker (Andrea Parker) the original Ice Queen, one time childhood friend now corporate hatchet (literally at times) she's sent after him along with Sydney.

Broots (Jon Gries) the hapless tech teamed up with Parker and Sydney to chase down their lost pet. Some people may recognize Broots as 'Uncle Rico' from Napoleon Dynamite - he's got more hair in NP.
The charm of the show is that outside of one or two characters none of the main or regular characters are truly evil and none are truly pure. As awesome and fun as Jarod is he's still a pretty jacked up and dangerous guy. As the seasons progress he gets even darker.  Even Parker has more than one dimension and is, in some ways, more human than Jarod.

Most of the writing stands up pretty well although there are loads of holes surrounding his Pretends but a wibbly wave of the magical hand of suspended disbelief clears most of them up nicely. Although at one point he is nearly exposed and caught by a Naval Intelligence officer which is refreshing.  It's a fun escapist show that occasionally dips its toes into some thicker material  like ethics, etc. It's a nice balance and one of my go-to veg favs. I'll throw a disc in and clean the house etc and always be satisfied by whatever sadistic set up 'ol Jarod inflicts on the current Evil Entity.

The Centre home of all evil, IRL it's a water treatment facility

By the middle of the second season the focus shifts more from Jarod and his wacky exploits to Jarod and the Centre and the incredibly messed up shit the Centre is involved in and has done to Jarod and his family. The arc eventually leads to a bit of a cliffhanger/dead end at the end of the last movie where Jarod is revealed or at least strongly hinted to be more than 'just' a genius Pretender (because, clearly, that just wasn't enough) and closes with Parker and another character pitted against one another to finally capture the slippery Jarod or face execution for failure. (I've left out oooh 90% of the shit that goes down to avoid spoilers, the show may be 10+ years old at this point but that doesn't give me douchewaffle license to spoil, in case you were wondering :D)

Yes. That is where it ends. Which leads me to this:

Dear Producers, Creators, Writers, PTB for the Pretender:


IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS, THROW US A DAMN BONE ALREADY, EITHER JUST LOG ON TO WIKIPEDIA AND TELL US WTF YOUR 'GRAND PLAN' WAS OR RELEASE A COMIC BOOK OR SOMETHING. SHEESH.


<3 ash.="ash." p="p">

P.S. Guys, I love your show and I publish comics, let's chat shall we?

Note: Any Michael T. Weiss fans out there absolutely must check out the movie Jeffrey (1995). It stars Steven Webber as Jeffrey a young gay man that swears off sex since everyone is paranoid about AIDs and all the fun has gone out of it. He then meets Steve Howard (Weiss) the man of his dreams and has to decide if love is worth the risk. The first ten minutes are in the clip shown here. Patrick Stewart co-stars in a brilliant performance.

Availability:


Hulu - Yes but some episodes from Seasons 2-4 are MIA due to music licensing issues including a few key ones and the TV movies are NOT available. 


Netflix - Yes, disc only


Amazon - Yes, clickable pics below

Agenda for this week!

I have decided to have a theme for this week's posts. This theme shall be:

Some of my favorite random ass shows that are at least five years old or older. So, we have

The Pretender
Highlander
Forever Knight
Macgyver
Prison Break (through Season 2 only)
John Doe
American Gothic

Mwahahahaha

Note: This is due to the fact that I have a stupid amount of classwork to do AND Emerald City Comicon is this weekend so I'll be up there. You should be too! We're going to have amazing comics, Stephen Lindsay will be here from NY to sign his new comic The Warriors of the Dharuk and we even have super awesome ZomBcon T-shirts! SO come on out rock your inner zombie have a blast with celebs and industry people. Swing on by and say hi :D

Differences between Nerd & Geek?

So, while trying to convince myself that I did not, in fact, have a pounding headache and I did not, in fact, need to get my new prescription, run another errand, and hit the gym before I could take the nap I longed for I did this.




It's an amusing diversion but it brings me back to a bone of contention. WTF is the difference (if any) nowadays between a nerd and a geek (we'll leave dorks out of it for now)? From what I can see the terms and cultural applications have muddied and blurred to the point where they're lazy synonyms.

Back in the day there were 'clear' differences between nerds and geeks. For instance, originally a geek referred to a sideshow performer that bit the heads off chickens (wtf humanity, seriously, wtf).

Then we have nerds (like the fella from Reveng of the Nerds there) they traditionally have big teeth, horn rimmed glasses, pocket protectors, high IQs low social skills and cowlicks.

He might like it if you bit his head off, poor SOB

So what gives? How did these two terms become so intertwined and is there any difference between them anymore?

I used to think that nerds were more about 'hard' knowledge, like actual physics, history and science and Geeks were pop culture experts. But even that was wishy washy and now it seems arbitrary as hell. Then I thought, well maybe Geeks are the hip non-academic but still socially questionable people. But again, that's just...a bad definition.  So I give up

What do you guys think?

Note: I'm leaving the entire comic nerd/geek vs movie nerd/geek etc arguments out of this. That's a quagmire of classifications that will almost always lead to headaches and pointless bickering. Unless, y'know, you want me to...

Hypothyroidism / TMI

Note: This will have some medical terms and such and may be boring or TMI so feel free to skip this post if such is not your cup of tea. Also I'm taking requests for reviews and post ideas so feel free to comment below with any suggestions. Nothing is too weird or off limits (I may not actually do a post about it but that doesn't mean you can't suggest it :D).
 
Or....WTF is wrong with Ash?

Hypothyroidism is defined as:
hy·po·thy·roid·ism
1. deficient activity of the thyroid gland.
2. the condition produced by a deficiency of thyroid secretion, resulting in goiter, myxedema, and, in children, cretinism.

According to dictionary.com

Symptoms include but are not limited to:

• Fatigue
• Weakness
• Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
• Coarse, dry hair
• Dry, rough pale skin
• Hair loss
• Cold intolerance (you can't tolerate cold temperatures like those around you)
• Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
• Constipation
• Depression
• Irritability
• Memory loss / lack of concentration or focus 'brain fog'
• Abnormal menstrual cycles
• Decreased libido
• Eyebrow thinning

Usual forms of treatment are: Thyroid hormone replacement of synthetic T4 only. Common brand names are Synthroid, Unithroid, and Levoxyl. Very occasionally other treatments including cocktails that contain synthetic T3 or even dessicated thyroid itself may be used.

There are several known causes for hypothyroidism from cancer to auto-immune disease, most do not have a clear cause but do have two types of pathologies. In one the gland itself is malfunctioning and not producing enough hormone. In the other the pituitary gland is not stimulating the thyroid enough to  produce adequate hormone.

I don't know why my thyroid decided to quit being effective (it still works just not as well as it should) but I do love my wee little pill. The change in quality of life is night and day. I've lost weight, feel better, stronger and happier, I can actually think again, remember things and have energy. I strongly encourage anyone that has any of the above symptoms to get the blood test to check for thyroid problems. My levels were 8.85, the norm is .5 - 5.5. So I wasn't that far off from normal but the impact was ridiculous. So if you ever see me saying anything about a blood test or medication it's referring to this. I have to have periodic blood tests to check my levels and see if my meds need to be adjusted.  So there you have it :)

As always thanks for reading and feel free to comment below :D

How to Save Comics!

Due to being wiped out by an oh-by-the-way hyper stressful event and facing a ridiculously complex assignment for my public sector budgeting course I am going to repost a blog by my friend and business partner Chuck Messinger. Chuck owns and operates Comic Evolution a cutting edge local comic retailer here in Puyallup. Check out his shop site or better yet swing on by his shop on Meridian right by the key bank near pioneer park.

With no further ado, Chuck Says: Top 10 ways you can help save the Comic Industry

E-Readers! Part Two :D

Need more! Pic from here.

I caved, I'm weak, I'm desperate, I'm addicted to new tech *sobs dramatically*

Meh.

My tax return came early so I bought a Kindle. It's a thing of beauty.

Now, there are a few things I'd change if I could. For one it's interface with audible it took me four attempts to get the kindle to sync with my audible account just so I could listen to the books I'd already purchased on audible.

DETOUR

Annoyance in the extreme. I'm all for digital media for a lot of the reasons in my original E-Reader post. But what pisses me off about it and holds it back - imo - are these stupid lingering DRM issues. I get that folks don't want their creative property etc hijacked and passed around for free. Really I do, it's hard enough to break even being creative without having someone filch your goodies and pass 'em out like candy. But when you make using what I've just paid for almost too frustrating to bother with then you'd better believe I'mma be ticked off. While I'm on the subjects ITunes WTF is your deal with not keeping a record of user downloads? On both the XBox and PS3 I can download a game, tv episode whatever get a new system change the registry and WHAM there's my stuff. So WTF is your deal apple? (also piracy is somewhat inevitable, piracy happened in the days of cassette tapes and VHS its just easier and faster now, I'm not condoning it just asking tptb to weigh the pros of frustrating your loyal customers to the point that we'd rather bypass you and go to a pirate then donate to our favored groups when possible)

END DETOUR

Back on topic. The interface is a little bit weird to get used to although I think the vast majority of that is due to my reflexes having been honed to work with an Iphone. So take out the touch screen and my digits get confused. I haven't had any issues downloading books via whispernet (Amazon's 3G network) in fact every download has been obscenely fast. I've read pdfs and the only issue I've had with them is with the size of the text, that said, the Kindle is pretty good at allowing you to change the screen orientation - even to the point that you can arrange the screen so that it's oriented to the opposite of the controls i.e. the keyboard etc would be upside down to your text - and you can increase the size of the font as well as darken it.

I haven't used any freeware to attempt to convert pdfs to Kindle format and I've not yet downloaded anything from the Project Gutenberg (they offer non-public domain texts for free in a number of E-Reader formats as well as html and pdf) though I plan to. I have, for the first time, been able to read a chapter and change of my digital textbook on the road without wasting a load of ink and paper or risking my laptop's existence.

I do plan to download the Kindle app for Iphone and desktop if only to see how accurately the system recalls my last page numbers etc between devices. 

I did get a case for it when I purchased it largely because I'm paranoid but also because many reviewers noted that without a case it's distractingly light and tiny. Yes, you read that correctly. I got the CrazyOnDigital Kindle 3G 3rd Generation Leather Case with Screen Protector the screen protector was a bit tricky to put on (I think it's cut a little bit off from true or there's some optical delusion stuff going down) but well worth the effort for peace of mind, it comes with a cleaning cloth and a stiff cardboard hunk to help with the application. I will admit that it was considerably easier to apply than a similar protector for my Iphone screen. The case itself is black, sturdy, leather (? if it's fake it feels solid), and best of all makes the Kindle look like a date-planner. It has an interior pocket on the left side that could probably fit a small notebook or business cards.

After a couple days using it with my weirdo bedside lamp I did break down and get a clip on lamp. I chose the Mighty Bright XtraFlex2 Clip-On Light (Kindle Version) Black. I left the lamp on for a couple hours and felt the temperature, it's room temperature which is great. I know it's LCD but still, I once got a second degree burn from one of those stupid lights when I was a kid so call me paranoid. The neck is nicely stiff so I can angle the lamp in a way to redirect glare while still being usefully bright and lamplike. The clip is solid and sturdy enough that it won't wriggle its way off the Kindle while I'm reading and pop off in a display of dramatic histrionics. It's also padded so if you don't have a case or whatnot you can clip it directly onto the Kindle without scratching it, but, again, I'd highly recommend a screen protector and/or case.

I chose both items because they had largely solid reviews and were relatively inexpensive - some were asking like $70 for a CASE.  What bad reviews they had were from roughly '09 (which, IIRC would be the original or second gen Kindle this baby is 3rd gen) or clearly operator error. Seriously if your clip on lamp is casting glare on your screen then move the lamp.

I did an update using my USB connection and didn't have any problems. I haven't been able to connect to my home Wi-Fi although I think it's because our password is way too long it's seriously like 24ish characters. It's also WPA-2 Personal and while the Kindle claims to be WPA-2 compatible I don't know enough about networks to tell the difference if any. I really don't need to connect to Wi-Fi with the 3G network anyway. If I were connected I could download audible audiobooks directly from my account but that's about it.

There is an experimental section (reached by choosing menu on the main page and scrolling down to the experimental tab) that will allow rudimentary web browsing, MP3 playback (haven't tried it yet) and text-to-speech for enabled downloads. One note on this, if a book you want has the audio rights held by another party - say for an audiobook - then this feature may not be available. Before buying a book where you want this feature be sure to read the book description carefully, or hit Ctrl+F and type speech :P.

I didn't mind the text-to-speech but I won't be using it much. The reading pace is a bit fast, the pacing is weird, sometimes it will pause at a comma as though it were a period but will ignore parenthises entirely, and while the voice isn't entirely robotic it does stumble across some things. Occasionally it will list a Roman numeral instead of initials etc. There is a similar feature you can turn on under settings that will have the Kindle read menus etc to you. Still if you have eyestrain, poor vision, etc it could be useful.

All in all I am super pleased with it, the price of new books is a bit annoying as they run between $1 - $4 less than their brand new hardcopy counterparts (again see the lead up to this post for my rant on the idiocy of that). Overall though all smiles here. I'll update when I've tested the other goodies or do a link here :)

As always thanks for reading and please feel free to comment :)

Note: Just a quick reminder there are still three CEP titles in Diamond Previews this month. Head on down to your LCS and ask 'em to order: FEB110892 Ghost Lines Primer - conspiracy thriller! FEB110893 Scorn TP - a tale of vengeance and family! FEB110894 Totem kids - an all ages book about the power and dangers of imagination! Remember without you folks CEP and other independent publishers and creators are SOL you make it happen! For which we love you dearly :D

World Spice!

I am in the grip of a cruel ague thus a succinct and very short post today. (This is my way of saying I had to run out to Seattle today and finish a paper on budgeting all while my stomach played merry hell with me for the second day in a row, yeah IDEK)

So, I didn't really HAVE to run out to Seattle but a good buddy of mine needed to pick up his last paycheck and offered to drive and go by the market while we were up there. I love the market but because my car is a steaming heap of crap I can rarely get up there and it's always more fun with a pal.

So half the reason he wanted to go by there was for this amazing spice shop behind the market. To get to it we wound through the market, past the patch where they're apparently planning to replace the brass pig someone aced recently (assuming my geography was correct) past the fish throwers, through the produce and food stalls upstairs (there is one stall that sells the most amazing oils and vinegars, 18 year old fig balsamic vinegar is delicious) down past the restrooms (assuming you're using the exterior staircase) - sidenote I paused for a potty break and listened as two addicts in the stall next to me cooked up something toxic and discussed Mrs. Doubtfire, seriously I can't make this shit up - down to street level, cross the street head to the right, past Lazonga's Tattoos (again, not making that up) and up a bit and BAM there it is. A place of glory and deliciosity. WORLD SPICE! <- should be stated in a wrestling announcer voice.

They have an array of teas (at least three types of chai, black, hibisucs, jasmine - both large and small pearls - and a few my bumpkin ass had never even heard of) spices, spice blends, vegan spices and blends specifically for use with tofu. You name it they've got it from true cinnamon (they also offer the more common cassia) to like twelve different hot peppers, at least eight different curry blends, loads of different dry rubs, one formulated for northwestern salmon, Himalayan salt chunks, wee bowls made of Himalayan rock salt, slabs of the same stuff for serving or baking with and probably loads more things that I'm forgetting or overlooking. I don't know how they stay in business, the prices were obscenely cheap. So naturally I loaded up. In fact I'm sipping some fresh spearmint tea now. If you aren't local and want in on the joygsam check out their site here. If you are local I strongly encourage you to visit in person, the delicious whammy of all the scents when you walk in the door is worth the trip alone.

TV Survivalists

Note: Apologies for no post yesterday, I try to post at least every weekday but Thursdays can be tricky. 

WTF? Seriously, WTF?

I don't understand TV survivalists. I mean, for me the whole thing boils down to, why? Sure I get that they claim to be educational and striving to teach viewers how to survive in extreme situations yadda yadda yadda. But seriously now, what are the odds that any of us are going to be stranded on top of a mountain in Arizona? Or stuck in BFE nowhere on the Olympic Peninsula? I mean, it's technically possible and there are probably stories out there about some stranded motorist that learned how to drink mud water strained through a sweaty sock to survive but in general it would feel a lot less wanky/douchey/pretentious if they just dropped the education schtick and admitted they were only doing it because we are guaranteed to tune in just in case one of them keels over,encounters a savage and venomous creature, or fails utterly and has to be rescued (like the producers would ever film that). We're the spectators at the coliseum. 

Which I'm totally cool with. Plus it gives my lazy ass something to snicker at. Bear Grylls (above, clearly) is a crazy Britisher (I'm honestly unsure of where he's from, his accent is so neutral to my ear that he could be any flavor of British) I think he has some kind of military background and is inarguable a fit dude. I don't really mind him much. Maybe it's the accent, maybe it's because he drinks his own pee, or maybe it's because he never complains. 

But these two on the other hand make me crazy with annoyed wrath of doom. Seriously. 'Dual Survival' should be renamed Dueling Douchebags. These guys probably aren't too bad on their own but the cunning ploy of getting a spiritual southwestern hippy and a northeastern pseudo-redneck together and chucking them into a situation that's highly stressful (as far as we can tell, I'm still not convinced there isn't a dude off camera with a box of twinkies and a case of bud) and then watching their escapades is transparent and irritating from the get go. Add in that they spend at least a quarter of any given episode bitching about each other (with maybe ten percent of it ass kissing the other dude with blatant compliments) and it just devolves into tedium. Some episodes are less irritating than others but in general I tend to skip them. Hippy guy goes barefoot ALL THE TIME, snow? No worries, scorching sand? Meh. Pointy rocks? HA! Soggy wet Pacific Northwest Rainforest? Cripples him. Apparently his manly feet of rock impervious-ness are unable to conquer the pervasive sogginess of our land, instead the juicy goodness of primeval woods softened his feet to hyper sensitivity. Ha ha.  Ahem, I mean, how unfortunate.Generally by the end of the show - which lasts roughly 48 hours or until they find 'help' - they've stopped bickering and are best buds again and usually deliver some weak moral or observation on the experience and zark off to wherever they lurk when they aren't clogging TVs with contrived mediocrity.

I don't understand the point of these shows, unless they're meant to be the 21st century replacement for those nature documentaries I lived on as a kid. In which case? Fuck you. I'd rather listen to some soft spoken upper class Brit babble about antelopes for forty-five minutes than watch a grown man drink his own urine or listen to Discovery channel's answer to the odd couple piss and moan and then make up and wander off into the sunset BFFs 4 lyfe.

I hate you TV producers and dread the next impossibly trite train wreck of a concept you're going to vomit on us. Please, please return to scripted television and documentaries. Please?

As always thanks for reading and feel free to comment below, remember you don't have to agree but you do need to think :D

- Ash

E-Readers!

I really want one. Actually, what I REALLY want is an Ipad but it all depends on my car repairs, tax return etc. So I'll probably get an E-Reader. So, why? Why do I have such a fiery lust for one? Ohhh let me count the ways.

1. No more waiting for that book to arrive from Amazon, go on sale, or show up in the local used book shop. Most readers can download books almost instantly and considering the enormous amount of public domain (FREE) books out there (everything from the Inferno to Shakespeare) there would never be a dearth of reading material.

2. Shelf space. I haven't got much and I'd like to use it for something more useful. Like a fish bowl. Or catstacle (cat obstacle) course - which is it's default purpose nowadays anyway. My shelves are packed with paperbacks, GNs and TPBs, video game action figures, forgotten bank statements, the occasional cat, a handful of hardbacks, and usually one or both pairs of my glasses so getting some space would be nice.

3. Slightly cheaper books. I don't know why E-books usually cost like $2 less than their printed siblings, I mean, it's not as though the file needs to printed out, bound, shipped, unpacked and put in a sales window somewhere so why the cost?(My guess is its a contract issue but that's a shot in the dark.) Still, that's $2 I don't have to spend and like another $4 I don't have to spend on shipping or gas.

4. Go-Go-Environmentally-Conscious-Ash! Not having to print, bind, ship, and display books means fewer resources being used including fuel for electricity and shipping etc.

5. They're freakin' cool.

6. You can read some of them in bright daylight (E-ink readers) outside - you remember daylight, it comes from that agonizingly searing neon sky thing. This thingy lets you read your books in it! Unlike my trusty attached-at-the-hip laptop which is useless in any kind of sunlight. So theoretically I could take my bad ass E-reader off to the beach. Well, maybe not the beach, maybe the woods. I don't like beaches, too much direct sunlight :P

7. The potential for obscenely efficient batteries. The readers that use E-ink systems are not constantly drawing power in order to illuminate the screen so their batteries can last for a couple weeks.

8. Cost. Last I looked the low end wi-fi only Ipad was roughly $400. The Kindle 3G with Free 3G + Wi-Fi is clocking in at a deliciously inexpensive $189. Okay, right $189 is not really inexpensive but compared to a tablet or other readers it is, at the least, affordable. Plus, dude, FREE 3G.

9. Textbooks I can take with me. This is a specific gripe of mine. I go to school online and I've always taken two courses at a time. Every quarter I get a single physical textbook and then the other class will have a solely digital book. Now, I get it, shipping, printing etc all cost money so okay fine but my laptop isn't really that portable. It's kind of a beast and I can't afford to replace it when I inevitably do something awful to it on my journeys. But most readers are comparative lightweights and again, and being able to read the E-ink versions in bright light is a win. I would have to have a .pdf compatible reader to take advantage of this.

And now, because I like to be difficult I shall summon cons.

1. Cost. I know, I know that was a plus right? It still is but as with any electronic hardware purchase you're going to lose money. Aside from some game console companies that sell their products at a loss planning to make up the difference on game sales most hardware is marked up enough to produce a profit. Fair enough that's the way the system works. But, the other side of this is the next-gen model. I can get a most excellent reader now but will likely be able to get an even more excellent reader say six months down the road for the same cost. That said that will pretty much always be the case until a technology is worn out or replaced by something sleeker and more versatile (think mid 90s cell phones compared to smartphones, y'feel me?).

2. No printing process. Again this has two sides. By cutting out the printers the publishers might save money but that just cripples more jobs and industries, how long before big printing companies are huddling around garbage barrel fires in alleys with the newspaper publishers and unemployed reporters? One of the downsides of a digital economy is the loss of jobs and products from the old economy. I don't think e-books will overwhelm the marketplace, at least, not for years and some books I will always have a physical copy of (The Stand, Summer of Night, a few others) simply because I sometimes just prefer the smell, feel, and weight of a real book.

3. Compatibility. I think this is becoming a negligible and niggling difference in general. Most readers can handle .pdf and similar formats and there are freeware converters available for more specialty formats. I can't speak to the effectiveness of the conversions as far as readability, ease etc (Incidentally if any of you fine readers are more knowledgeable toss me a comment and lemme know) but they do exist. The other issue is compatibility or access to the various digital stores for readers, Barnes and Noble has a specific format as does Amazon etc. Which means purchasing from these stores could be a challenge.

4. Comics. I almost universally prefer to read comics in the physical world although obviously e-strips (my favs are XKCD and Questionable Content) are an obvious choice for a digital reader. The page layout and frames/panels of a traditional comic book are a language unto themselves. Another problem is that a lot of times the artistic detail and backgrounds of a panel can be lost in the background if the panels are shrunk to accommodate displaying the entire page on a small screen. There are apps and readers out there now that allow the viewer to go panel by panel but again that - to me - tends to corrupt the language of the page. (There are several popular apps that I've used on my phone for comics including comixology, panelfly, and graphic.ly interests of disclosure Creator's Edge Press has titles with each and we have an Ipad app.)  I'm sure a solution will be arrived at or I'll learn to embrace the new strictures but either way until then I'm sticking to hardcopies of my babies. There's also the issue of justifying the extra cost of a color e-reader vs. a black and white E-ink reader.

5. Re-buying all my books. One thing I think we can all agree on is that the last fifteen years or so have been pretty annoying as far as updating our visual media. First it was fancy VHS tapes with THX then it was the Special Ed- oh dang that's Star wars... my bad ;). Okay, not really, the douche-move of making an uber THX remastered VHS version of the original wonderful trilogy then bringing out the vomitously awful 'special' edition on THX uber VHS and then rinse repeat with every media format that happened with Star Wars is a very good example of the media upgrade evolution most consumers have danced to. Books have, until now, avoided that. I mean sure you may've had a beloved title that you've repurchased several times as copies went walkabout, wore out, or a shiny new version appealed to the magpie in you, but in general, re-buying a book was a choice not driven by outside forces moving onto the latest and greatest in technology. That might be changing.

I don't mind paying money for books. Really I don't. Especially if its a small or indie press. I'd rather shell out the money and support the existence of these companies and artists than download a badly ripped .pdf etc. Also, I suspect they have a better profit margin on their digital books than the printed copies. But it will bug the shit out of me to pay hard money for anything by a well known gagillionaire writer. Not because he/she doesn't deserve to be paid but because charging near-new retail prices fora digital book guarnteed to sell like gangbusters seems...wasteful. So if I re-buy books it will be slowly and only on sale.

6. Not being able to read in the dark without a clip on light or other light source. One downside of the E-ink readers is that they are not self illuminated. I don't think this will be a huge problem. I have a lamp by my bed for a reason. If I really wanted to or needed to read something in the dark I can use my phone.

All in all the juicy awesomeness of a reader is outweighing the various cons. I have to admit I'm leaning toward the $189 Kindle but I'm curious as to what anyone out there with an e-reader has to say. Do you like it? Was it worth the cost? Are there any problems or quirks you've encountered? What kind of documents do you use it for? And so on. If you have any experience with an e-reader feel free to comment and sway my heart and mind.

As always, thanks for reading :D

- Ash

Note: Comments are still on moderation, they won't show up right away. If you fill in a comment and hit submit a second page will load and show you a captcha pic, once you've submitted at that point I'll see the comment in my mod box and be able to post it :)

Update: See a follow up post here.

We Now Return...

To our regularly scheduled bloggage.

As some of you may or may not know I write the occasional comic book. The latest and so far very much greatest, Slow Burn, will be part of a small print run due for release in about six weeks. As you can see from the gorgeous cover (still so freaking stoked by that pic) it is not a lighthearted tale of whimsy and magical unicorns. Although if  you want unicorns the Creator's Edge Press title Stink by Chuck Messinger has one, but he's not the sort you'll find frolicking on a little girl's bedspread.

Anyway, the story is raw, there are no real heroes which is appropriate as it's set in a world where heroics probably result in a messy and painful death. It's dystopian, peri-apocalyptic, and grim. The setting is the near future in a world where ghouls have brought society to its knees and classism is at an all new height. The lead character is jaded, hard, and sneering. He has faced the worst parts of himself and the world he lives in. It's dark, it's stark, it's gritty and you may need a shower or a hug once you've read it. As of now it is a one-shot book but I have laid out the outline and started scripting a sequel with an arc intended to include the first and conclude in a third issue.

The other cool thing about this book? (Assuming you think gritty, apocalyptic, and dystopian stuff is cool) Is that it's an entirely fepeople book. The artist is Sarah Markley, a Western Washington native, graduate of Western and Digipen. So not only is this not your run of the mill tights and capes book, or even a run of the mill horror book that's being published by a wholly indie and creator geared publisher, it's made by two diehard horror fans that happen to have lady bits. What's not to love?

I will absolutely let you fine readers know when this tale of woe and bloodshed hits shelves and where you can get it.  It will also be available on Drive Thru Comics prior to printing. If you're a fan of digital comics or new to the medium feel free to check out the Creator's Edge Press offerings at Drive Thru all titles are a low $0.99. Titles include the primer issue of Stink and loads of other goodies including Jeff by Travis Bundy our talented and fantastic Art Director and the primer of Warriors of the Dharuk an all-ages book by Stephen Lindsay of Jesus Hates Zombies.

And don't forget that Creator's Edge has three titles in this month's previews! Head on down to your local comic shop (LCS) and ask for: Totem Kids order code FEB110894 (a one shot all ages book about the power and danger of imagination) Scorn TPB FEB110893 (a tale of family and vengeance) and Ghost Lines FEB110892 (a timely conspiracy thriller).  Just give your local retailer code the number starting with FEB and these gems will be yours!

As always, thank you for reading and feel free to comment below!

Note: Comments are temporarily in moderation mode meaning that they will be logged but not published until I've reviewed them. Odds are I will happily post all comments logged but trolls will be trolls, although, if you're a funny or clever troll I promise I'll post your comment, k?

God: The Follow Up

Light Hearted Photo Disarms Angry Visitors!

Sadly, even genetically modified bee cat has its limits. :(

As you can see this blog is now blank. The reason? I recieved an angry phone call from someone I cared about and out of respect to them removed it. I did not remove it because a bunch of angry profane wanna be trolls dogged the comments section and demanded I do so with no reason or justification. I will not apologize for the post. I felt and still feel that it was just to post and as no identifying information was involved little offense should have been taken. Again this was an extreme action only taken to assuage an innocent party's hurt feelings.


(by the way thanks trolls you drove my page hits sky high! :D)


I do still have the blog contents accessible as well as the original conversation material.


The comments will remain. 


This is the ONLY time such an edit/removal will occur. Period. I take first amendment rights and free speech very seriously, if a Nazi hate group gets to post whatever they like and fall under its protection then my comparatively inoffensive blogs do as well. Live with it. If you don't want to read, then feel free not to. It's an enormous world and a great big fat juicy interwebs out there. Embrace it, enjoy it, and remember to think for yourselves.


As always, thanks for reading!


- Ash

YAY!

I'm an Auntie! My brother and his wonderful brilliant wife had a healthy baby son - Rio, a Valentine's day baby (they're in Japan)!

Much love and congratulations!

Ads & Such

Soooo you may have noticed I added a couple of amazon widgets to this here blog. I'm not sure how I feel about 'em. The carousel doohickey to the left seems okay as it lets me reccomend things I actually like - though it limits to 10 at a time. The context suggestion one is....well, I'm not exactly psyched about the random insanity of some of its recommendations.

So, what are your thoughts? Do you like 'em? Should I bag one or both? Resort to in post links to share such things? I leave the fate of these widgets in your hands!

(real post on Monday at the latest, promisies. I did a wicked work out at the gym today and have a mountain of laundry/housework/homework to do tonight and tomorrow otherwise I'd get off my duff and do a proper post :P)

UPDATE: After receiving some feedback and attempting to tweak and improve on the look of both widgets to integrate them a bit more into the blog I have deleted them. I also, finally, figured out how to delete the super cheesy/shady looking google ads. So, for now This blog? IS AN AD FREE ZOOOOONE!

The Internet NEVER forgets

Note: This is the post I was originally going to post before an Anonymous Butthead (now and forevermore known as AB) decided to be a random jerk as you can see here, however, in the interests of not wasting this post or pandering to AB I'mma post it anyway :D

So yesterday I was at the gym (after starting medication I found the energy that had been eluding me for years and got my sad, bloated, pale, whaleish carcass back to the gym) fast walking on a treadmill to warm up before tackling some weights with my gym buddy. I was squinting* at the nearest TV showing something aside from Bally's adverts and saccharine or incomprehensible music videos- when lo and behold I see this story breaking on CNN.

I had two thoughts almost immediately. One, was, 'how is this even surprising? Egypt is undergoing a revolt and we're in the midst of two wars and everyone knows politicians are generally an oily and ego driven lot' the second was, 'holy crap this guy does not understand how the internet works'.

Thought one is pretty cynical and typical, but I think a lot of folks that take privacy and the internet for granted might be confused about what I meant with the second. Not necessarily older folks either. This dude was 46 he wasn't 'old' or anything close to it (I may be biased I think 'old' is a mindset more than a reality Betty White is still 'young' imo). What he was, was ignorant.

Here's the deal folks, the internet? NEVER forgets. Say you posted on a message board twelve years ago about your passion for pokemon and how your parents just don't understand! Now, twenty or thirty years ago you would have whined to a friend or a journal (the journal likely would have been burned or thrown away by your older self in a fit of embarassed horror). Nowadays we use the internet which leads to some uniquely awkward problems down the road. Mainly that your angsty pokemon post is still going to be there.

So, if you happen to remember the username or email you had way back when odds are if you type it into a search engine and spend some time tracing links you will find that angst ridden post, years later. And not just you, oh no, if you habitually use the same username or even email now that you used then it can and will be found. And this is just crap that floats to the top in a general search engine query. If you know what you're doing or have the right software looooads more can and will be found by anyone interested.

This is why I never want to be famous. Rich? Fuck yeah! Famous? Nope. Never going into politics either.

Now, back to Congressman Craigslist. He goes to craigslist and answers an ad in the women seeking men section. He responds with a bio stating he is a 39 y/o divorced staffer and then sends a picture of himself flexing in a mirror with his face showing! Never mind that he's actually a 46 y/o married congressman with a child, he sent an identifiable photo of himself likely via email so the recipient could download it and keep it forever. Never mind that if that dude is 39 I'm fourteen and additional fail points for using a pose widely associated with creepy losers on myspace (pic from NY Times article found here)

Clearly, Congressman Craigslist does not comprehend that every-fucking-thing you put on the internet is there forever. Embarassing blog posts, piqeus of trollish misbehavior, questionable comments on news articles, facebook status updates, twitter statements, etc. If it can be accessed without a password (and often even with) it can be dug up and thrown in your face later.

In conclusion, use a secure password, never post anything that can be traced back to you that you wouldn't mind your boss or mother reading (unless they're freaking awesome, or you're willing to take the heat) and if you use any erotic services or pages keep your freaking face out of it, unless you're auditioning for a porn. Even then, your face? Not the body part anyone cares about.

All this goes doubly for youngsters on the web. People are sick and evil and they will try to lure your kids. They may just be after a 'candid' or inappropriate photo or they may be trying to actually contact your child in the real world. Be aware, teach your kids to be aware and cautious because thirty years down the road that picture or conversation could still be lurking out there. You can't take back what's been posted to the internet.

All that said, I freakin' love the internet. But I'm a jaded cynical nerd that has made peace with the fact that the flotsam and jetsam of my 'net life are going to dog me all my life and probably after my death. But then,  I'm also not a politician. :D



*I forgot my glasses.

I See You!

So if you've seen my FB page or CEP's you'll know that the original URL for this blog was re-routed to a site about Biblical scriptures etc. It was...odd. Anyway, because of that I've changed the url. I may have to change it again, for which I apologize in advance, but I'm not going to be muzzled by some random with an agenda. I'm not being *that* inflammatory.

I SEE YOU!!!

Anyway, here's to you random agenda meddler. Knock it off, you're just wasting my time and yours. I will not change my mind or opinions just because you're a total brat evidently incapable of engaging in an intelligent debate. If you really do want to change my mind and opinions, talk to me. Because, I can tell you, screwing with my blog and the like is only going to get me more readers and annoy me, it won't win your side any points.
Grow up and write a comment or a blog response of your own and link me to it so I can put the link on this blog and we can all enjoy a good chat and some brain challenges. Otherwise? Blow it out your butt.


<3 - Ash

Note: I tracked down the page - its circa '97 graphics and super pink background were memorable, considering that it's evidently a blogspot site it's *possible* the whole thing was just a screw up on blogspot's end. Still, the point stands

C.O.C.K.S.!

Holy shit balls, has Ash totally lost it? Is she going from ranting about Christianity to poorly disguised dick jokes?

Well, maybe I am. Maybe I think dick jokes are funny, maybe I have the sense of humor of an angry Britisher combined with a die hard Troma fan and a nerdy fourteen year old girl that likes to score points on the hapless by mocking the obvious with a dry snarling wit.

Or, maybe, just maybe, it's the initials of an outstanding new force in independent comics! And now that I've teased you with C.O.C.K.S. I'm going to delay the payoff and give you some background, y'know, to establish things.

As some of you may or may not know, there has been a somewhat concerted effort recently by creator owned folks to get more cooperation between us all and some teamwork rockin' this lil bitty world. Basically, the  point is that most original or interesting work is being done largely by creator owned independent folks and publishers and the big two are stale and it's about damn time things changed (my words and not necessarily those of all persons involved in the creator owned movement, that said, if one of the big two even noticed me I'd flip out and pee myself like a puppy). All that said without teamwork, cross promotion, and a paradigm shift in our thinking creator owned titles will simply not earn the market share they're due. Not to mention the dismal state of the industry as a whole combined with the perfect storm of a shitbag economy (raise your hand if you've been laid off at least once since '08). Recently a now notorious and basically impossible to find (publicly) video featuring some Very Important Creators gave the creator owned movement a kick in the ass and a higher profile.

Further, the amazingly fantastic Steve Niles (if you aren't at least passingly familiar with his work I weep for you and encourage you to check him out on wikipedia and go directly to your LCS and, at the very least, pick up the 30 Days of Night TPB and any Cal Mcdonald TPB, also Simon Dark is freaking bad ass and has one of the saddest scenes I've seen in any type of media) has pledged to review and post creator owned titles - first post!. You can read more about his view on creator owned properties here and for a more recent follow up go here (IIRC this is his blog). And finally for an interesting blog that highlights creator owned new releases go here (again IIRC Steve contributes to the latter as well)

So, back to C.O.C.K.S., WTF is/are C.O.C.K.S? Creator Owned Comics Knowledge Spreaders! Fuck yeah.

C.O.C.K.S. is the brain child of Stephen Lindsay et al, it's a loose knit group of folks motivated to spread the love of and for creator owned comics. Check out Stephen's Tumblr and he can tell you in his own words just WTF is up with C.O.C.K.S. If you go here you'll also see his zazzle store with some badass C.O.C.K.S. gear (along with some very spiffy Jesus Hates Zombies goodies).

In closing, if you like an independent or creator owned comicS (they're not always synonymous) TELL SOMEONE! Seriously, tell a friend, parent, teacher, sibling, stranger, twitter, tumblr, facebook etc. Get the word out, advertising is expensive and nothing beats word of mouth. Some of my favorite things I learned about from friends (Chai, the fact the Neil Gaiman wrote more than just Neverwhere - I was like 14 leave me alone- Steven Brust, the existence of bogans, the mockery of bogans, and so on). If I thought my friends' opinions were crap they wouldn't be my friends, you have the power to open the people in your life up to some amazing and moving works if you just tell 'em about them!

If you don't get the word out on that outstanding indie / creator owned title you just found at your Local Comic Shop (hereafter and forevermore abbreviated to LCS) who will? It'll get canceled due to low sales and your LCS will join the sadly growing legion that have had to shutter their doors. Do yourself and the creative world a favor and support these works or they'll go away and we'll all be crushed under a pile of luscious, spandex clad, improbably proportioned, superbeings. And who wants that?

P.S. Bile has a similar post, check it out and tell him hello- in Bile speak that's something along the lines of a vulgar statement disparaging his lineage.

P.P.S I fixed a broken link and added the link to Steve Niles' first Creator Owned review on robot 6. :D

God

NOTE: I think it generally goes without saying that anything *I* say is just that, me saying it, but because this topic is potentially a shit storm waiting to happen I wish to make it clear that this blog is only *my* opinion and Creator's Edge Press has sweet-fuck-all to do with it. There, I said it :D

Holy balls, am I *really* starting out my second post (well first really since the 'first' was more of a coming soon kinda deal) on such a balls of fire topic? You bet your sweet bippy I am! After all this is Ranting Ash's blog, no? Therefore, I shall rant!

                                                    DISCLAIMER
Note, this is going to feature some light slamming of Christianity, if that is likely to offend you or piss you off DO NOT READ FURTHER, we'll pretend this post doesn't exist and go about our lives with whatever relationship we currently have intact, k? I mean there's that whole politics and religion leading to squabbles thing, so, yeah, don't read. You've been warned!

Now, so you can kinda know where I'm coming from, this is my experience with God in very broad strokes (I don't have the patience to write up my autobiography regarding religion for one post and I am positive that no one but a paid shrink would like to slog through it.)

I grew up 'Christian' with a strong smattering of Messianic Judaism (a contradiction in terms if ever there was one :P) but I never really bought into it. I mean, I'd say the words, even debate concepts correctly (that is, from the correct perspective for the audience/people I was with, meaning Christian) but I never had faith. Ever.

I couldn't really see how I was ever going to 'find' it and I really don't think it's possible to force someone to have faith in any god or religion, you can force them to claim faith and worship but real faith can't be created that way.

So, here's why I don't think I could ever have had faith in the Christian God. We've got God, YHWH, Allah, whatever you wanna call the Abrahamic God. Now, he's omniscient and omnipotent meaning he is everywhere and he knows everything, right? (reminds me of that Christmas song about the peeping tom Santa that knows if you've been naughty or nice *shudders*).

                                                      DETOUR
Dictionary.com's definitions of omniscience and omnipotence:
Omniscience: 
1. having infinite knowledge or understanding
2. having very great or seemingly unlimited knowledge
Omnipotence:

1. the quality or state of being omnipotent

2. (initial capital letter) God
I'm not sure WTF is up with the second definition on Omnipotence, as it's not really defining anything, but it's interesting.                                                     
                                                     END DETOUR

So, omniscient omnipresent God decides, for whatever reason, to make some human beings. He then makes them imperfect - if he's omniscient and omnipotent then IMO he *had* to know we'd be fuck ups, had to. So he makes us, gives us rules, that he  knows we're going to break and, when we inevitably fall, he makes us feel like crap for it. Then to tie things up in a neat bundle of angst and guilt he threatens to torture us forever if we don't love him for it, after all he created us, we owe him.

How the hell does that work? Seriously, sadistic much?

Then there's old testament God Vs. new testament God. God sets up all kinds of laws and rules that are really hard to follow and we fail in major ways (cow idol anyone?), so, God sends his only son, or if you are into the trinity deal himself-as-his-son, down to live with us shit goes down and suddenly we have a new way to get into his good graces etc.

So basically he acts like a psychotic boyfriend that gets counseling and feels really bad about the past but keeps threatening to beat us if we don't love him. Yeah. Awesome.

Now, I realize I'm not a theologian or biblical scholar etc and I'm likely glossing over or misinterpreting gobs of info, but, here's the thing. So is everyone else. I seriously doubt my ten second interpretation is that rare or inaccurate when applied to a general audience. By all means if I'm full of shite let me know but from the people I've spoken to and interacted with - not all were raised in an Abrahamic faith but most if not all were raised in Western cultures which are very much roughly based on Christianity at least- it's at least a popular perception if not an accurate one.

I'll smite you, blame you, & smite you again!

So, no I don't have faith in what appears at best to be a mentally deranged somewhat sadistic deity. BTW how is it that an omnipresent/omniscient God changes his mind about how to interact with his creations and decides to 'go easy' on them? That right there is weird.

So then, what am I? Am I an agnostic? (For the purposes of this post I am very very VERY loosely defining an agnostic as a person that believes in a higher power but is uncertain as to its nature or its interest in humanity as a whole.)

Am I an atheist? (Again loosely defined as someone with no faith in any deity or spirit, just humans doing human things to each other and their planet)

Well, no.

I'm a Neo-Druid. For now.

Ha ha if you could only see your faces now!

I know it's ridiculous  right? Well religion *is* ridiculous. I tried being an Atheist and it didn't work for me, I tried agnosticism and, again, didn't work for me. I feel nothing toward Christianity, Judaism, or Islam and their God.

Buuut I do feel a pull toward Neo-Drudism. Wacked

So, in conclusion, religion is nutso, the Abrahamic God is kind of a dick, and I'm a freak. (as if you didn't know).

Note: A close friend looked over this prior to my posting it and pointed out that some folks might get all heated because I didn't capitalize the pronoun 'he' in relation to the Abrahamic God. The reason for that is that he's not my god. If he were I might've capitalized it or I might not depending on my audience. If I were writing a post or paper on my deity I probably would capitalize the appropriate pronoun 'cause that's an audience and setting that may expect it and be confused or offended if I didn't. This isn't. And, honestly if THAT detail is what you find offensive or controversial in this post, I pity you.

UPDATE: See a follow-up to this post regarding some of the fallout.

BAM!

Look what I did! I resurrected my blog! (and deleted my old posts. So there).

Anyway stay tuned for updates on all my happenings from CEP awesomeness to general nerdiness and the occasional random rant of rage. (I get fired up a bit).

I know this douche with a blog at joshbile.blogspot.com you might want to follow as well, he's kind of a tool ;) in the meantime check out CEP and my little drips and drams of insight on twitter, Creators Edge Press is CreatorsEdge, and I am CEPAsh.

More soon!