New York Does the Right Thing and Why I'm A Straight Ally

So as most of us know by now late on Friday night the New York state Senate pulled their heads out of their keesters and voted to approve gay marriage in the state. It was a narrow vote, 33-29 but it got done.

Now, I'm glad that Washington has civil unions but civil unions are not marriages. That's the same schtick that we used to swallow whole regarding separate but equal in regards to racial segregation. A civil union has many of the same rights as marriage but not all., key among them is the social and societal acceptance hinging on the term marriage.

Until everyone in this nation that is of legal age and sound mind can get married to whomever they like the battle isn't over. Civil unions are not 'good enough' or whatever other phrase the pundits want to tap dance around.

I'm a straight ally 'cause I won't stand here while some jackass with a religious agenda tries to legislate my friends, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, fellow human beings into second class status. I'm stubborn, resentful, and contrary and I won't let anyone tell me that treating someone like shit because they're in love is okay. Ever.

So until people can understand the concept of separation of church and state and realize that there are religions out there that support and celebrate LGBT human beings and their love, that there are citizens out there LGBT and otherwise that won't stand for this bullshit, that there are parents, children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, coworkers, acquaintances, employers, students, teachers, and legislators out there that also celebrate and respect our LGBT citizens and their basic human rights, I'm going to make a stink.

I encourage you to join me.

Obnoxiously Shallow Video Game Characters - I'm Looking at YOU inFAMOUS and Alan Wake!

 

Okay, I dunno what it is but it seems like writing a decent lead character is kind of a challenge for some games. To me, a lead character has to be engaging on some level, they don't necessarily need to be a nice person, look at Don Draper in Mad Men, he's a womanizing drunk but still a fascinating and sympathetic character. And okay, so traditionally games have functioned largely on the premise of the story and the cool stuff you can do. But, aren't we moving beyond that? Don't most long running series have some kind of interesting characters? So why are so many relatively new games still coughing up half formed stereotype laden leads?

Alice taking shit from Alan

Take Alan Wake, the game play is reasonably unique, the environments are bad ass and the basic plot is interesting enough, even Alan's creepy/obsessive manager is okay for a sidekick. The basic premise is that Alan is a cross between a drunken rock star and Stephen King. He's been battling writer's block and his wife convinces him to take a vacation to BFE Washington to sort out his head. Once there his wife  is spirited off by the Big Bad of the game and the adventures being.

Alan himself however, is a dickhead and his wife is a cipher for every clueless masochistic damsel in distress in fiction. Seriously, we get to know them for like ten minutes and in those ten minutes we learn that Alan is an ungrateful shit who mistreats his well meaning, patient, long suffering wife - who simply accepts his awful behavior and doesn't call him out on it. Then she's disappeared and douchebag spends the rest of the game going through hell trying to get her back. Only the player - if they're anything like me - doesn't really give a crap about saving her or really even keeping Alan alive or his personal travails because he's an asshole and there's no emotional hook or sympathy for Mrs. Mary Sue Wake.

Alan Wake the man, the myth, the epic shithead

I pretty much played because I liked the environments and some of the tertiary characters were amusing.  That's it. If I'd paid full price for the game rather than getting it used I'd be super pissed, even the included free DLC did little to assuage my dissatisfaction.Which is a real pity as the game's  premise, mythology, and beautiful environments are great and if Alan hadn't been such a fucktard or his wife (Alice? see I can't even remember her name and I only remember Alan's because I hate him and it's the name of the game) hadn't been a waste of pixels it could have been seriously great.


Then there's inFAMOUS. Now to be fair the only reason I played this is 'cause Sony gave it to me for free, it was part of the our-bad-we-fucked-up apology pack after the PSN was hacked.

For those that don't recall it, it's super similar to Prototype - at least in the broad premise in that it details an average Joe suddenly endowed with super powers and his quest for answers. I haven't played more than the demo of Prototype so I really can't do a thorough comparison of the two though this article apparently compares them. Now to be fair I believe both came out in '09 so they're not exactly new (inFAMOUS 2 was released about a week or so ago).

I used to ride a bicycle, my girlfriend Trish is unreasonably hostile, and I blow shit up

Anyway. I will forgive inFAMOUS slightly as one of the points of the game is that you can choose whether Cole - the main character - is an evil bad ass or a noble bad ass. Still, dude you can make a generic character open to moral choices that has a damn personality.

The game opens with a mega explosion flattening a good chunk of Empire City and our hero surviving it somehow. He limps off  while being chased by electrical arcs and lightning before passing out. He wakes up and discovers he's now endowed with electricity based super powers. WHEEEE.

Ahem.

He's also being blamed for the initial explosion and since his girlfriend's sister was toasted in the explosion she's being a snarly bitch. Aaaanyway all we really learn about Cole is that his girlfriend is an unreasonable bitch and he can use electrical powers like WHOA. We don't even figure out that he was a bike courier delivering a package to the point of the explosion, they literally never say he was a bike courier it's up to us to piece the clues together until the very last fight scene wherein the bad guy calls him a loser for being no more than a bike courier and then there's an expository scene (done in an admittedly not-bad comic book style) where he FINALLY says he was a bike courier.

Seriously. That's it. His jackhole buddy Zeke is more interesting.Trish is a screeching unreasonable harpy and the bad guys are pretty pedantic. It's a an okay game particularly because it's free but dang people.

How hard is it to write an interesting lead? Heavy Rain did it well enough although Ethan had some massive issues. And all it required was a little groundwork during the tutorial section. That's it. I'm not asking for a novel or an autobiography here people, just throw me a frickin' bone. And while it's possible to make a douchebag hero (say Kratos or Don Draper) it's not wise to have your lead start out that way, particularly if you expect someone to stay engaged and give a shit for a game that could last for 10 + hours and cost $60.

If I'd paid full retail for either of these games I'd be pissed. Alan Wake was tolerable and inFAMOUS was pretty fun but both would have been immeasurably improved by some decent characterization and back story.

And holy fuck people is it really that goddamned difficult to write a decent female supporting character? Or say a female lead? Dang.

Note: I had pictures of Trish and Zeke but Blogger freaking sucks and kept dying so I've had to settle for what's here :/